Parenting Slowly

This article is helpful for me in thinking through the American pressure-cooker culture of higher academics and success.  Why are we so pushy with our children?  Why so competitive?

For example: potty training.  We practiced EC with our daughter from about 4 months old until potty training.  I was so "proud of her" when she began to tell me when she needed to use the bathroom through sign language or words, but really, I was just proud of myself.  What an awesome mom I must be - my daughter has really never had a diaper rash and she's already toilet trained at 16 months...blah blah blah.  Of course, I was trying to feel humble, but in reality I felt proud.  I felt like I was really accomplishing something and a that all my energy and efforts and choices were paying off. 

Well, enter the birth of our second child.  I just didn't have the ability to be right there to take our then 20 month old to the potty every time she was telling me she had to go.  She has had a lot of "accidents" over the last 4 months since her baby brother was born and so often I feel really frustrated and defeated thinking "you used to tell me...why don't you tell me anymore?"  But she's only two!  Yes, maybe she was better at communicating her body's signals at 16 months than she is now at two, but she's still just two!  Slow down, mama.  Relax.  She just turned two.  Stop getting upset and putting pressure on her.  I doubt she'll be in diapers 5 years from now.  Relax.

So I'm trying to relax.  I'm trying to get back to calm.  I just get super sad when I feel like my parenting is "going nowhere" but then I remember "Where is it suppose to be going, again?"  Am I seeking toilet trained heaven or am I seeking Jesus?  Am I pointing my daughter to delight in early skill sets and accomplishments for identity or am I pointing her to the cross of Christ?

Maybe infant EC shouldn't be approached with the hope of early potty training, but as a way to simply spend joyful time together, to honor God by using our bodies rightly (protecting from rashes as much as possible), blessing the environment (using fewer diapers), etc.   I feel like we did do that - even if the "results" aren't there in the form of checklists completed. 

So instead of getting upset,  I am trying to take every accident in stride and know that each time is an opportunity to love my daughter in her weakness just as Jesus loves me in mine.  I mean how many times do I not do what Jesus tells me to do?  How many times to I basically have a "poopy in my pants" that I don't want anyone to see and don't want to deal with? 

I'm learning deep gospel stuff from my two year old.